Jealousy

The change from human to vampire brought about changes in the way I thought about many things. I was learning new emotions such as compassion and mostly jealousy. I can’t remember during my human days being jealous of much. The women never turned me down and I had a pretty decent job. My parents always treated me like a prince if they could with their love and I had what other guys only dreamed of.

The first day I felt the jealousy was the day after Alice and Jasper joined the family. I peaked into Carlisle’s study to speak to him and noticed he was already in a deep conversation with Jasper. Carlisle was already speaking to him in the gentle fatherly voice of his and it slightly agitated me. I was not familiar with the emotion so I blamed it on my thirst and some sort of anger.

A couple of months went by and I kept my distance slightly as good as I could. Alice and Jasper were welcomed into the family but I was having a slight problem with it, well not so much Alice as Jasper. It was hard not to smile when Alice was around or feel totally at home. Maybe it was the way Jasper looked or presented himself that made me wary at first.

Here was this male vampire walking into our life, who you could obviously tell had been through a lot and was stronger than others. His gruesome scars showed a past of heartbreak and trouble, not to mention he was always kept to himself mostly. I also didn’t trust the unusual power he has at first. The though of someone being able to shift my emotions without my permission angered me to no end.

Things were getting back to normal around the house, well I should say as normal as could be. I would catch Edward and Jasper having conversations. Often about books or music that really I had no interest in. From an outsiders point of view it would seem as if the two really were blood brothers and it made me feel that aching need to have that as well. Who was this guy coming in and taking that position from me.I

tried to shrug it off and not let it bother me to much. My anger still sometimes being a problem I shied away from anything involving Jasper. That was until the day I came home from hunting and heard him in the kitchen with Rose. I knew that they had to know I was in the house but I still sat down in the living room listening. I could feel the anger and frustration building in me as they talked. It was almost a betraying feeling but yet not.

I knew I was not the most perfect man in the world but I didn’t understand why Rose could not talk to me the way she was Jasper. Feeling the jealousy beyond anything I had ever felt I stood and threw the closest object to me toward the kitchen. As the vase shattered Jasper and Rose walked out, I felt my anger subsiding and knew it had to be Jas. “Stop it, dammit If I wanted help with how I was feeling I would ask you,” I shouted at Jasper.

Storming out of the room I went upstairs to gather my thoughts. I knew it was nothing but jealousy but I was so angry at Jasper for making me feel that way. Everything was perfect and then they showed up. I stood next to the window contemplating on going for another hunt when I felt my emotions changing again. The anger was leaving me slowly as I snarled through my teeth toward the door, “ What do you want?”As Jasper entered the room I changed to an almost protective stance, ready to jump when I felt any danger. He moved to sit on my bed and started telling me the story of his past, the human past he could remember and after his change. It clicked in my head how similar his story was to Rose’s and I realized why they seemed to be so close. My body relaxed as he continued, I felt like a jerk for the way I had been acting.

As he finished and looked at me I apologized, which is something I rarely do if you know me. I vowed to myself to accept him into the family and work on my jealousy towards him .From that day on we have been close. Jasper is my brother in any way which you can count. We may not always see eye to eye but I know he has my back.