The Singer

As vampires we often speak of 'la tua cantante', the one who sings to us. I have to admit I was not strong enough to resist the blood of the one who sang to me the most. It was the first human I ever killed during my first year.

I was well on the fifth month of my change. The family still went with me hunting at least three times a day. My thirst never seemed to die down but it was gradually easing.

I remember the cool summer day like it happened yesterday. Carlisle was working at the local hospital while Rosalie and Esme were shopping. Edward stayed behind to watch me as he had did before. I tried to hold off on needing to hunt but my thirst got to me so we left.

My improvements in newborn actions had the family ecstatic so Edward felt he didn’t have to watch my every move , not to mention he could read my mind before anything happened.

We were deep in the hunt when Edward stepped away to attack a deer. My animalistic instincts were in high gear, aiming in on my prey when I smelled the most delicious scent ever. I could feel the venom pooling in my mouth and I had to have it.

Every thought in my head was on tasting the scent that was burning into me. I felt two hands grabbing me back and heard the screaming, “ No Emmett you cant. Go back.” It was Edward trying to stop me but I couldn’t stop. The anger in me built up, I was deliriously mad that he was trying to keep me from the smell. My newborn strength knocked him into the closest tree, a low guttural growl escaping me.

I took off running and saw the girl crouched over a log tying her shoe. My pace never slowed as I ran forward snapping her neck. The blood lust taking over as I drained her dry. I wish I could say I felt terrible when I did it but I never felt anything. Her blood was more delicious than anything I could have ever imagined and that’s all I was thinking about.

As Edward ran into the clearing when I was finishing I felt the remorse hit me. I looked down at the lifeless body in my hands and collapsed to my knees. I had become what I didn’t want to be. A monster who killed people. This girl would never have a life, her family and friends would never have special moments with her.

The look on Edwards face killed me. It was a mixture of sadness, anger and compassion. For some reason he helped me dispose of the body and stood by my side. He didn’t have to but I will always be grateful to him for not abandoning me that day.

When we returned home I ran to my room and stayed for the next two days. The burn was so intense in my throat but I felt terrible. The life I had taken was haunting me. I had listened to Edward relay the story to Carlisle as he came home from work that afternoon. Heard the hurt in his voice as Edward spoke of my trying to harm him to reach the girl. I was worried to death that Carlisle would ask me to leave the family but he never did.

The forgiveness he gave me was so fatherly. I had jeopardized everything he had worked for but yet his love never faltered such as Esme’s. When she arrived home with Rose and heard she was more worried about how I felt. At the time I felt like I didn’t deserve their kindness. I Was more worried about what Rosalie would say or do though.

I knew I loved her. My newborn ways sometimes would not allow me to express that but I did. I still was iffy about whether I deserved her or not and this would surely send her away. How could this perfect angel want a monster like me. The second day of my confinement came and Rose had enough. I remember she burst into my room with a pale blue skirt and white blouse on. That famous attitude of hers masking the pain she was feeling.

Our conversation was the beginning of what we have now, a relationship that will with stand anything. I knew at the moment when she forgave me and accepted my fault that she was the one for me. I also knew that with the whole family accepting my fault that they were going to stay my family no matter what. There was no blood shared but didn’t need to be, the Cullen’s were more of a family than I could ever ask for.