The past

"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I never saw true beauty till this night."-William Shakespeare

Many times I have sat and thought about my life as a human. Racking through my brain for any memory, any moment to connect me to my past but nothing comes clear. Like Alice I do not remember anything from my human life. I count it as a blessing because maybe my human life wasn’t so perfect but what if it was? What if I had it all, everything anyone could ever ask for.That’s why the William Shakespeare quote hits so true to me. Before Rose was there ever another love for me? Did I ever acknowledge another woman as my other half? Rose is my everything but its only natural to wonder. To me now I could never imagine any one else. Rose is my angel, my buttercup the sole reason I am the way I am.During my younger days after being changed sometimes I would make up my past. I would imagine in my head exciting scenarios. My father was a banker like Rose’s or my mother was sweetheart of the town. My favorite past I imagined over and over was simple- In my past I was popular, had many friends. Worked in a hardware store with my father and spent my time with various women. As time has moved forward though I no longer imagine my human life. Wither it be the fact that I am happy with Rose or just really would love to know actual events from it.One thing that lingers though is that I would like to know. I would love to remember anything. Just one morsel of something ,just one tiny fragment to who I was.